1st let me worn you, that what you are about to read is far from my usual demeanor but you just can't take "the Jersey" outta the girl, I suppose. So, here is my good 'ole Jersey attitude which rears its ugly head every 6 months or so.
Ok, you cannot make this stuff up!! Two weeks ago I made a purchase from an online marketplace featuring handmade goodies. 1 candle and 1 tart. Easy breezy right? Ok, well I paid instantly and never heard a thing from the seller. Not, I processed your order, thank you, FU......something??!!! So, I contacted the seller yesterday to say Hello...what's up? The seller explained that she mailed it Parcel Post 5 days after I bought it. Well, ok....moving on, now it made sense. So, I cooled my jets figuring I should see it by Christmas.
Well, my candles arrived today which is amazing on its own but they arrived with some WTF extra's! What is a WTF extra you ask? Let me show you...
Please notice the 5 count them FIVE Avon books! All of which were outdated plus it came with a card (can't show you b/c it has the persons name on it-but, don't think I wasn't tempted) that read This book has EXPIRED, but...you can view everything Avon has to offer at www..... BLAH BLAH BLAH..
Secondly and really most importantly-READ THE BOX that my candles came in..Caribbean Gold SEX KITTEN!! WTF ??? 10 MILLION, TRILLION, ZILLION TIMES over WTF??
The box originally held 12 bottles of some sort of lotion... oh that is just lovely.. Again WTF?
This seller couldn't find time to peel off the 2 stickers that say SEX on the outside of the box but found time to put in 5 outdated & worn Avon booklets?
She couldn't find time to mail it before 5 days? She couldn't find time to contact me to say she got my order for the Pumpkin Cheesecake tarts & Wedding Cake candle? God only knows what my mailman thinks of us now...sheesh~
Sure, I have 12 bottles of sex lotion sent to my home all the time. And don't you know the candle was pretty heavy so it truly felt like I had been shipped 12 bottles of lotion. PLUS, the only thing professional about the whole transaction was a computer generated shipping label that made it look like it arrived from a warehouse!
In closing, how completely and TOTALLY unprofessional & gross. Do not take my purchase as a green light to send me your bullshit. I have no interest in it. I didn't contact you for AVON. I contacted you for candles..homemade yummy smelling candles (which btw..they do smell great).
But I can never buy from you again after this BS...thanx, everytime I look at that candle I will think of my mailman carrying the box labeled sex kitten lotion to my doorstep while my son plays in the front yard.
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18 hours ago
31 Comments:
yikes! NOT good, not good at all, no wonder you wanted to vent about it.
Wow! That is all I can think of to say...Wow!
AHAHAHAHA ROTFLMDAO!!!AHAHAHA,
AWWW Come on now Dani, tell us how you REALLY feel!!!!.... So I guess this means I can't send you any little extra's I might have around either?
Blessings,Flora
OMG, how embarrassing! Seriously, I would be SUPER ticked off at that chick. My mail carrier is a little old lady who has delivered here for almost 20 years and calls me by name - I would just DIE if she brought me a box with that crap on it!
Reminds me of the time I got a book from paperbackswap.com, which is a place that people trade books with each other. This chick had put her business card in the book with a note asking me to visit her site and buy stuff! (Not even on a dare, chicky-poo!)
ROFLMAO
okay first yea I would be mad especially the mailman we have..........
Well atleast the avon books weren't the "home Party" goods for adults oh my LOL........
I got to say the way you wrote this I Am LOL........and in shock honestly I need to stay away from this seller
Good thing it wasn't a gift you sent to someone else!!!!
Wow.....Dani I'm really sorry to hear this.......That sucks. Is that what the sex kitten lotion is for? I am so sorry...just had to say. When you think you can handle some humor about this tragic situation, please do email me so I can offer some other comments in regards to the mailman. Remember he always rings twice. ROFLMAO.....
ROFLMAO Sorry Dani but yeah sorry but funny and frightening LOL
Sue
Michael and I had a good laugh today over it, discussing the images the mailman had running through his mind! I don't really know what it is for, for sure, but certainly the tone is set with that name and that there were twelve 8.75 oz bottles (according to the labels). How about this for a laugh..I might be more annoyed with the AVON books!! How could someone think that is ok to put in? The box is a gross oversight but mistakes do happen so I can excuse it slightly.
I am glad everyone got a laugh ;) I am still annoyed enough that I am tempted to email the seller a link to this post...Now that is ROFLMA! No, that would be mean but yet again, tempting.
OMG, that was the funniest damn thing I've read lately. How freakin' weird is THAT transaction?!! At least the candles actually smelled good.
The first time I got up the nerve to order um...adult items...online it backfired on me. The "completely discreet" package had gotten ripped in transit and a hot pink um...item...was in clear view of the PO workers, mailman, etc. And I lived in this tiny, rural, Oklahoma town. Holy crap. I avoided the mailman for months!
OH Dani, That is too funny! What do you think that person was thinking. Oh! I guess they weren't. It goes to show you just never know what you might get when you order something on line. You either have taste or you don't. Come On!!!!!
Thanks for sharing. I got a good laugh with my morning coffee today.
Love your Jersey attitude. I understand WTF situations. I'm in the middle of one of my own WTF transactions right now dealing with an individual who is just blowing my mind and left me bewildered and wondering WTF. So sorry, but thanks for sharing that story.
Jody S.
Dani - So sorry about this horrid experience - especially the mail man, but I, too, was laughing by the end of your note! Parts of it really are quite humerous. But I would be irritated also! As fas as not responding - sometimes people are away from home and computer, but that's the only thing I would say in this person's defense! Hugs!
You are so funny. I love the Jersey color! When we talk on the phone you seem so professional (this is good). BUT, I love the REAL that comes out in you angry posts. I liked the one a while ago about -- oh man, what was it now -- I can't remember, but you were mad. Oh yeah -- the religious fanatic. You should go into business writing poison pen letters for people who can't on won't write their own. Rock on, sister!!!
Oh, by the way, don't worry unless the mailman starts winking or smelling your mail.
PS -- Why not send the Avon lady some empty, sticky bottles of moldy Avon products or make your own label for a sex kitten lotion and spill something gross all over the outside and mail it back to her in a box with a Hustler magazine label on it?
OMG. That is seriously the funniest thing I've heard all day. Perhaps you're the mailman's favorite stop now? :)
Hiya Sailor ;+)
I was rolling with this post! Sorry to hear that you had the transaction from H.E. double hockey sticks.
Well, at least when you go to shake hands, you'll have the smoothest ones. JK!!
Glad to hear that the candles smell good.
Kristen
Geez, I haven't had this many comments since I was accused of being a satanist for mixing Halloween & Christmas!!! Figures, just talk about makeup & sex lotion and you women are all over it!!! LMAO.
I am starting to find humor in it today. All of your comments have seriously cracked me up!
Thank you all. I am so lucky to have you all in my blogland to crack me up, cheer me on and be there when I need someone to listen to my ramblings.
I say we have an extended weekend artist retreat within the next year so we can all finally meet!!! Maybe I can sell ad space on STJ and help pay for it all..he he he!!! Dreams~~~~~
I seriously laughed out loud...sorry you had a bad experience, but the way you tell the story cracked me up :O
Enjoy your candles....just think, now when any of us see lotion, avon or our mailman we will think of you ;) Take care, Jackie
o m g . . . . i'm sorry i know you're seriously ticked off but that made me laugh out loud - thank god i'd just finished my cuppa tea or there would've been a scalding tea snorting incident !!!!
ha ha ha ha ha {sorry}
glad the actual product was good though . . . . right i'm off down the sleasy sex shop to buy me a big ole tube of golden kitten lube lotion .......
Oh..Megan..that is sooo wrong!!! But, I laughed out loud at your lil diddy!! Thanx~
Oh my gosh. I know that totally sucked but I'm really getting a good little chuckle, too. I definitely would have freaked, as well. No way you could have made up a better story! Hopefully your mailman has a sense of humor. Who knows what he's seen on written on boxes!
Krissy
I don't know about you, but I think the label would be a great add-in on an altered art piece & the lotion would have made great giveaways for STJ don't ya think?
I'm still LMAO at the sheer nerve of some people.
Lori
Hey ya little Sex Kitten!
I don't know where to laugh or cry. Actually I laughed so hard that I cried when I read of your mail order mishap. Maybe she misunderstood what you meant by ordering Tarts??!!
OMG!! I am on the floor just dying! I'm sorry this happened but I just LOVE how you told the story!
Kim
Hi Dani ~ Thanks again for your winning bid on my postcard & hope you will enjoy your goodies! '-)
Have a great week!
Chris
Oh Dani, this has got to be one of the funniest posts I have read. Of course the fact it didn't happen to me makes it funnier, but with some time and distance now, you have to admit, it is a giggle fest. So glad you vented and got it off of your chest!!!
Laurie
Bonjour Dani! I laughed when I read your story about the candles a-la-sex-kitten!!! A while ago, I ordered a toy on eBay, homemade and of very good taste, beautiful and so well packaged with ribbons and a little card and all. When I opened the perfect parcel, the item inside was wrapped with pages of old magazines, among which were some from a XXX monthly. I thought this was incredibly weird. I contacted the seller at the time and she could not explain the situation... Hey! I could not remember if I personally thank you for your little Frankie Ornament. I talked about it on my blog a few days ago and placed a few links to your blog and your new SpookyTimeJingles shop. He is adorable and has been adopted by the rest of my most cherished treasures on a little shelf in my studio. Thank again, Dani! I was thinking I might be interested to offer some Halloween paintings on STJ... Take care, LuLu
Oh Man, Love that post. You are too funny. And that was a major SHAMELESS plug they sent you for their Avon. business.
Take Care,
Tracy M.
as someone who is perv enough to have mail ordered sex lotion, i can tell you that most companies are very discreet about the packaging.
As in nothing on the outside of the box that indicates 84,000 dildoes inside, etc. :P
So, my point is that this strikes me as someone who is evil and intended on embarrassing you. Hard to believe, but imho.
You all are cracking me up!! I have been away for a few days and my cell phone alerts me to new emails and I had fun reading the new comments to everyone at the restaurant. You all made for great dinner conversation!!!
I was the entertainment for the night!!
He,he,he! I had one hellava day, but this post sure did make me laugh tonight!
Still laughing.....
Melissa (Toots)
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